In today’s evolving workplace, where multiple generations, diverse cultural backgrounds, and shifting expectations converge, one challenge is quietly eroding managerial effectiveness and team engagement: Ruinous Empathy. This silent pandemic is rampant in modern organisations, stifling growth, fostering disengagement, and ultimately damaging business performance.

HR professionals are uniquely positioned to administer the antidote - Radical Candour. By training managers to be radically candid and creating an environment of psychological safety, we can help managers develop the confidence to deliver clear, actionable feedback that drives engagement, productivity, and trust.

The Rise of Ruinous Empathy in the Modern Workplace

Kim Scott’s Radical Candour framework identifies four styles of feedback:

  1. Radical Candour (feedback that directly challenges a team member, whilst demonstrating that a manager cares personally about them)
  2. Obnoxious Aggression (feedback that directly challenges a team member but with no element whatsoever of personal care)
  3. Manipulative Insincerity (feedback for feedback’s sake, which is neither directly challenging nor given from a sense of personal caring)
  4. Ruinous Empathy (feedback that is often not given, or is sugar-coated, because of a sincere but misguided sense that directly challenging a team member might lead them to believe that you don’t care about them).

When I’m wearing my “Lawyer” hat, I am sometimes asked to assist in employee relations cases where a manager has been Obnoxiously Aggressive or Manipulatively Insincere; but in my experience Ruinous Empathy is (by a long way) the most frequent behaviour exhibited by people managers. It stems from a well-intentioned desire to be kind and supportive, but manifests as avoidance of difficult and honest conversations. Managers hold back feedback, or sugar-coat it if they do give it; afraid of upsetting their employees or damaging relationships. Sound familiar?

While managers might think they are being considerate, and indeed that is their intention, the consequences of Ruinous Empathy are significant:

  • Employees don’t know where they stand; a lack of constructive feedback leads to confusion, stagnation, and ultimately disengagement.
  • Poor performance festers; issues go unaddressed, resulting in resentment from colleagues who pick up the slack.
  • Diversity and inclusion suffer; those of different generations and / or cultural backgrounds may interpret lack of feedback as indifference, alienating them.
  • Trust is eroded; when employees discover that managers were withholding honest feedback (as of course they usually do once managers try to make things “formal” having not addressed the issue at all previously), they lose confidence in themselves, in their manager and in the Company.

Ruinous Empathy must be recognised as a systemic issue; but in taking deliberate action we can reverse its impact.

The Complexity of Today’s Workforce Requires Candour

The modern workforce is the most diverse it has ever been, with employees spanning five generations, multiple ethnicities, genders, and work preferences. Managing such a dynamic workforce requires more than traditional leadership or management styles - it demands Radical Candour.

The Generational Divide

Each generation has distinct expectations when it comes to feedback:

  • Baby Boomers (1946–1964): value structured, formal feedback and hierarchical management.
  • Gen X (1965–1980): appreciate direct, pragmatic feedback with clear action points.
  • Millennials (1981–1996): prefer frequent, coaching-style feedback that feels collaborative.
  • Gen Z (1997–2012): expect real-time, authentic feedback and highly transparent management.

Failure to provide clear and constructive feedback risks alienating employees and reducing engagement. A Ruinously Empathetic approach might lead managers to assume younger employees are too sensitive for critique or that senior employees don’t need feedback—both of which are damaging assumptions.

Radical Candour: The Antidote to Ruinous Empathy

To combat Ruinous Empathy, HR professionals should try to embed Radical Candour into their organisation’s DNA. This means creating a culture where managers are free, and have the psychological safety to, practice being Radically Candid.

Here are my thoughts on how you might go about that:

Train Your Managers to Be Radically Candid

    Training should focus on helping managers:

  • Understand the framework of Radical Candour and its impact on engagement.
  • Practice giving and receiving candid feedback through relatable case studies.
  • Recognise and overcome their own biases and fears about being perceived as “too harsh”
  • Provide structured feedback models such as the HHIIPP, SBI or CORE frameworks to deliver feedback constructively and to monitor whether feedback they are proposing to give is Radically Candid (or indeed, Obnoxiously Aggressive, Manipulative Insincere, or Ruinously Empathetic).

Build a Psychologically Safe Environment

    Managers are often reluctant to give candid feedback because they fear negative reactions from their     team members, but also from leadership if they are perceived to have over-stepped the mark (or if        they fall victim of the good old “that’s not the way we usually do things” attitude). It is crucial for HR       professionals to help build and foster psychological safety by:

  • Role-modelling Radical Candour. Senior leadership and HR professionals should openly give and receive Radically Candid feedback.
  • Encouraging vulnerability. Let managers acknowledge when they struggle with difficult conversations and provide coaching.
  • Rewarding constructive feedback. Recognise and celebrate managers who demonstrate Radical Candour effectively.

Shift the Organisational Mindset on Feedback

    Many managers treat feedback as an annual or performance-driven exercise, rather than an           everyday conversation. HR professionals can help:

  • Normalise feedback as a continuous process. Encourage managers to provide real-time, informal feedback, rather than waiting for formal appraisals.
  • Redefine feedback as an act of care. Frame Radical Candour as a way to help employees succeed, rather than a tool for criticism.
  • Encourage peer feedback. Empower employees to challenge each other constructively, fostering a culture of collective growth.

Address the Emotional Side of Feedback

One of the biggest obstacles to Radical Candour is the fear of emotional reactions. For that reason, I have found that training managers to be Radically Candid is often best done as part of a wider program of emotional intelligence training.

You don’t have to take that job on alone – there are lots of brilliant trainers out there who can help you develop a programme, or design and complete a programme for you. I’ll include myself in that; having founded Liberate Management Training.

The HR Imperative: Lead the Change

In our line of work, and caring personally as we do (despite what many outdated opinions would have us believe), we have the power—and the responsibility—to dismantle Ruinous Empathy before it further erodes engagement, retention and performance.

By training managers in Radical Candour, we don’t just improve feedback; we transform the workplace into one where trust, growth, and high performance thrive.

A radically candid workplace doesn’t mean relentless criticism or harsh management—it means creating a culture where people know exactly where they stand, feel empowered to improve, and trust that their managers, leaders and HR teams genuinely care about their success.

So, let’s administer the antidote, shall we?